The Boss Couch of Troubles
by KenderickBlazey
Summary: The blue villain of Metro City has found himself with the ever-so-trifling task of kidnapping his favourite reporter. But when she's late for his plans, he decides to find out what's going on. Only to find out that Roxanne has been fired. Pre-Movie.


Another day, another kidnapping.

At least, it was that for the blue villain, who was now doing last minute checks to make sure that his hasty capture would all go down to plan. He was to wait for his target, the prying reporter with the honorary membership to his mental club of people kidnapped over his career as a supervillain for more reasons than one. When the brunette beauty would stroll out of the news station doors, it'd be an easy 'snatch and spray' that his fishy compatriot had perfected over the past few years.

Minion, who had been previously allocated the role of the 'reporter predator' was preoccupied at short notice by unfortunate luncheon-duty taking longer than it should have. Megamind had been more than annoyed by this to begin with; however, now found himself giddy with anticipation as he quietly stared out of the invisible car, tapping a slender, blue index finger at the glass. 

It was indeed a gorgeous day, the golden gleams from the heavens descended onto the richer part of Metro City where all the important offices, most owned by Scott enterprises, and the news station was situated. Bustling businessmen speed walked around the area, attempting to get to their point B as fast as they could (time was money, after all). However, due to the wealth of the area, the streets were incredibly neat, bubblegum free and beautifully aligned with all the gold and white (surprise, surprise. This WAS Metro City, after all), art deco style architecture. It was like a live-action painting, which the extraterrestrial genius would have found much more pleasing to look at if there weren't other, much more pressing subjects on his mind.

He had memorised Miss. Ritchie's somewhat subconscious timetable off-memory, and it worried him when he saw that she was now five minutes late. Disheartened when the five turned into ten, annoyed at fifteen and frustrated at twenty. However, he dropped back to being terribly worried when it had been an agonisingly long wait of forty five minutes and decided it was time to find out what the deal had been. He had double-checked she'd be in today (a precautionary procedure he chose to follow after he tried kidnapping her when she had caught the flu. She had ended up with a terrible temperature and had to be driven back home within the hour of the kidnapping, not a good day), so her being sick was not the case. 

Had something bad happened? Another villain decided to get to her while he wasn't looking? Oh, that simply couldn't do.

He slid off the car seat and unlocked the door, storming into the building. Of course, this did gain a little too much of unpleasant attention, mostly from people being shocked at the fact that Megamind, the self proclaimed incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy had walked right by them and half because of the fact that he had appeared out of thin air. 

Whichever reason caused the slight uproar left the villain unfazed as he strode into the reception with an annoyed look on his face, dark eyebrows furrowed. He picked up the de-gun from his holster with a swift movement and with a twiddle and flourish, pointed the weapon into the direction of the wide-eyed receptionist. 

"Alright?" He said through gritted teeth, "What's the deal? Where is Miss. Ritchie?" 

The receptionist looked around, almost as if processing the question. "Roxanne?"

"I don't believe you have any other people with the surname 'Ritchie' working in this station, do you?" 

"Nope." Came the timid reply. A quick call was made with the phone almost jumping out of the receptionist's hands from the trembling. "Uhuh, yeah. Top floor? Thanks." He placed the communicating device down and nodded to the blue-skinned man. "She's floor thirty-five, packing her stuff up." 

"...Packing up? That's unusual..." Megamind muttered before giving the receptionist a nod and a rather dramatic farewell. "_Thank-yoouh_, lowly Citizen. For your help with my evil plan, I have decided to give you mercy of my weapon. Consider yourself converted to the side of evil! Ciao, ciao, all!"

And with a flamboyant swish of his cape, he was off to the elevator, leaving a gathered crowd of almost mystified and terrified journalists and businessmen alike. Thankfully, the lift was stationed at the first floor, so when he pushed the glowing button, the doors instantly opened. Once in the small room, he gave his hating crowd a small, cocky wave and watched the doors briskly slide closed before allowing himself to a happy sigh. Villainy did have some of the very best perks at times.

The elevator was small, but spacious enough to prevent claustrophobia. It had a lightly carpeted floor, worn slightly from use, but kept under fairly good condition. Elevator music kept it all from being silent, which he was thankful for. This was going to be awkward enough, and he didn't need silence to make it more so. He eyed the can of aerosol on his belt. If she was going to come down willingly, he'd knock her out in the car. If not, he'd have to do it up here, not much of a difference, really. 

By the time the elevator reached top floor, Megamind had begun humming the tune. Stepping out, he looked around to see a narrow passageway that led him to a split corridor. He reached it and noticed someone on the one end of the corridor, standing over what seemed to be a desk. It was her. The blue alien was stuck there for a moment, taking the sight of her glorious figure without really wanting to. He broke into a tiptoe, planning to sneak up from behind with a smug look on his face, but was stopped when Roxanne gave a sigh and called out. "Don't bother. I don't work here anymore."

There was a slight quiver in her voice which tugged at his heartstrings. "What on earth are you talking about?"

She put the box she had packed up down onto the table and twisted to face him. Despite the previous quiver in her voice, she kept a steely expression and now spoke more confidently. "I've lost my position to someone who wanted it... _Slightly_ more than I did." 

He was more confused. Why would they want to fire Roxanne Ritchie? The daring reporter who went to any lengths to get her story, who faced off with evil and acted as if it was just a breeze. She was brilliant, stunning even. "But they can't just fire you because... Who is this new person?"

"Some girl from floor twenty four." She gave him an apologetic look, and picked up the box. "I think she did the report on the puppy shelter that had to close because of the acid rain, you'll find her if you look it up on the web-"

"Her?" The look of dismay on his face was enough to make her frown. "But... She's nothing compared to you! She had no class! No style! No _presentation! _You're the leading reporter and there's no way-"

Roxanne gave him a glare which turned into a sorrowful one. "Just drop it, Megamind. You'll learn to like her in time. I-It's time to part ways, I suppose. Good luck with your schemes."

Jaw was suddenly slacked. Megamind could hardly believe his ears, this couldn't be the real Roxanne. The spunky reporter would never give up something she was so passionate about that easily. He quickly grabbed her by her shoulder and spun to face her. "What happened, Miss. Ritchie?"

Blue eyes met emerald for a brief second. She looked almost... Ashamed? Hurt? "Megamind, honestly. Nothing happened. I'm just being replaced."

"There's a quiver in your voice, Miss. Ritchie. One that was there before. You can't hide it." He gave her a serious look, which softened. "Something's gone wrong, and I can tell. Besides, what makes you think I'll stop kidnapping you just because you're not the reporter here anymore? You're still Metro Man's girlfriend and I need you... _F-For my schemes._"

"Fine." Roxanne gave the ground her attention and with back facing the wall, slid down to sit on the floor. The villain mirrored her action, but made sure to not sit too close. Professional personal space and whatnot. "Guess it won't hurt to tell you. Just... Don't say anything until I finish, okay? And don't laugh."

"Never."

Cerulean eyes gave a close as she began. "My boss has always been one of the creeper guys. The kind of guy you find checking you out you're and they don't care if you notice or not. He's always been this big, bad disrespectful guy, but I always thought, 'hey, people like that exist. I know pleanty of creeps around me. He can't hurt me, he won't dare get close.' Turns out, I was wrong."

Megamind almost stood up from the impulsive over-protective feeling the suddenly surged through him. "He didn't hurt you, did he, Miss. Ritchie?"

"No." She shook her head. "Are you familiar with the term... 'Casting Couch?"

Megamind turned his cranium, green eyes wide with interest. "No. Tell me."

"It's a term usually used in the entertainment industry when a man in a high rank helps women who want to get on TV. But they usually need to give him a _favour _back?"

"Oh, like give him some money. Or lend them stuff back or-"

"No, Megamind. They want sex. "

"Oh." Cheeks instantly turned lavender. "_Oh."_

"He's been wanting me to be in his favour for quite some time. He wasn't my original boss, who put me onto the on-the-spot role. He somehow found out about how I wanted to move apartments to get closer to the office, but because the places near here are really expensive, I didn't quite have the money. He offered me a promotion... For a 'favour'."

"...That's horrible, Miss. Ritchie! I'm the _villain,_ and I find _that_ evil! Don't tell me you..."

"No. Of course not." She shook her short brunette locks. "But he got mad and fired me, and also said that he's going to tell everyone that I've been screwing with him to get to the job I have now, so that nobody will want to hire me in this industry. So, that's why I'm leaving."

"This other lady. You said she wanted the job more... _Oh.._." 

"Yeah." She sighed, biting her lip. "This job was everything to me, but... I'll find something else. Accounting. Mom always wanted me to go to accounting."

She quickly looked up when gloved hands were placed to her own. "Don't you dare think that, or go into accounting!" 

"Megamind, I'm sorry, I've got to move on now. I can't come back to this job now."

There were a few seconds of silence before the villain turned to her with a sincere expression. "Miss. Ritchie. What you've just told me... DIsgusts me in the least. Look... You don't deserve this. At all."

Both stayed in a more-or-less stunned silence, before the villain spoke again. "I have a plan. Leave your things here, Miss. Ritchie and take a cab home. I'll give you fare if you need it. Just take a few days off, and I'll report back to you. Soon!"

* * *

><p>( * A Few Days Later*)<p>

Roxanne was huddled by her laptop with a cup of usually calming camomile tea, looking at latest job listings for Metro City. There had been no news of the villain, nor the scandal her boss had threatened her with. However, as she had decided to play safe, she had listened to Megamind's instructions and stayed at home.

Granted, listening to a villain wasn't all that great of an idea, but he had seemed so eager for her to do so, she had given it a shot. Besides, if something bad had happened at her workplace, it was probably best she stayed well away as of now.

She took another sip of the piping hot liquid as she heard a tapping noise on the window. She put the tea and laptop away and curiously walked towards it, to reveal an excited Brain Bot barking on the other side of the glass. She undid the small latch and let the floating robot puppy inside. It seemed to be carrying a small square of paper with Megamind's signature emblem on it, with the actual envelope itself being black. On the corners, there seemed to be small ruffles which after a minute of staring, she realised were actually makeshift 'spikes' on the paper. 

The Brain Bot dropped the letter into her hands after giving her a brief moment to register what exactly it was, and then took a quick flight around her small apartment. It nearly bumped into a lamp, which it stared wearily at and then adjusted slightly. Roxanne gave an amused smile and watched it float back out of the window after barking a farewell 'bowg-bowg' .

The reporter grabbed the note and sat back down by the laptop. She gently tore it open to get the letter (also printed on black paper, which had small blue lightning-bolts bordering the sides) inside which read a handwritten bit of text:

_It's safe to go back to the station. By the way, the new guy is called Gareth Vyner, he's your new boss. He seems to be an okay guy. _**  
><strong>_Looking forward to the next kidnapping, which is terrifyingly soon, I ensure you._

_- MM :)_

She turned back to the computer with a smile on her face and upon noticing that the site with the job lists was still open, clicked the small, red cross at the top of the page.


End file.
